Stay with me
by Samara88
Summary: During a cold winter night, Kurt and Dave face their feelings, their fears and their past, and realize that love is the only possible conclusion.


Dave tried to hold back his tears, slipping cold hands in the pockets of his jeans.

The sound of slamming door. The sport shoes making their way on the wet gravel. The cold air, which felt like was it was hurting his skin, and reach his bones.

Nobody would follow him, no one would try to stop him.

Turn his head would have been useless, so he didn't. He just looked ahead.

_Don't cry._

Dave Karofsky decided to be strong.

Stopping himself to think about the words of that woman would have only made things worse, and Dave had had enough of everything.

Getting angry would have been much easier. Kicking at an empty beer can left with distraction in the wood, yelling insults at the now shut door, grab a rock and throw it to a glass window.

Oh _yes_, getting angry would be the wiser choice.

But the anger was gone.

Dave promised to himself to be strong, and not cry.

Not anymore.

He inhaled and exhaled, and when the air left his lungs it was like all the pain disappeared. Like a running beast, in the dark shadows of the night.

He kept walking, looking at his feet.

The lights in the house turned out. No shadow disturbed the natural darkness.

_One, two, three, four._

Dave counted the steps that separated him from the car. Math had power to calm him.

Knowing about certainties of the world.

The steps were sixty-seven.

_Too much, far too much_, he said to himself.

Many things could happen, during the time it took to walk sixty-seven steps, and Dave didn't want to think about any of them.

He prayed to a God he didn't believe in to bless him with the inability to think.

He closed his eyes for a second, refusing once again to cry.

Finally, the car was in front of his eyes, like a big animal with red stripes. The sixty-seventh step led him to his destination.

He opened the car's door, and the heat felt like a comforting hug. Another breath, a silent imprecation against a heart that was beating too fast.

He could do it.

Kurt was sitting in the passenger seat. The hands in gloves, the hair perfectly combined, the pale skin.

Two blue eyes stared hopeful at him, and Dave knew he had to destroy that hope as a glass smashed by hammer.

They didn't need any word, just looking was enough. A sad smile, a tired sigh.

Trying again would have been stupid. They both knew it, and it was what hurt them the most.

The last hope disappeard that night, when Dave's mother threw him out of the house and yelled at him she didn't want to see him again.

"It was not good."

It was not question, and Dave's heart broke.

He nodded, knowing that just one word would crush him.

He sat down, and closed the car door.

The heat was comforting, but the cold Dave felt had nothing to do with winter.

Kurt felt strong desire to touch his shoulder.

A _friendly_ touch.

Nothing that could ever break the thin thread that was their relationship, nothing that could suggest to him or the other boy some kind of doubt.

Friends do it all the time.

But Kurt could not move his hand.

He did not know what exactly was really scary to him, but the idea of touching Dave's shoulder was terrific.

They talked a lot in the past months, never getting tired of each other, but never touched either. Physical contact was forbidden in their relationship.

Touching would change something, and Kurt was not ready to face the consequences.

Dave needed him thought, and Kurt couldn't pretend he didn't know.

"She will probably regret this."

Kurt's voice was thin and sharp, more than it was during normal circumstances.

He was obviously not sure that Dave's mom would ever regret the way she treated her son, but the thought of her hate being permanent made his skin crawl.

Dave shook his head, with a desperate smile painted on his thin lips.

"Maybe I don't want her to do it. Maybe I want that bitch to die alone as she deserves."

It was not true.

Or maybe it was.

Another one of those things that Dave tried to ignore.

He expected a look of warning from Kurt, maybe a sarcastic comment about his language.

Yet he just got silence. Kurt did not know what to say.

Kurt didn't want to be on the side of that woman, not even to point out to Dave that he would not get other mothers.

Saying that would have been stupid, because Dave gave her last chance, but he had been rejected.

It didn't matter that she was his had all rights to feel that way about her.

Without realizing it, Kurt pushed Dave into a precipice that had no end.

But Dave was the first to feel a twinge of guilt.

Dave knew about Kurt's mom. He knew because he saw him crying, during one of these afternoons they spent talking and doing french homeworks.

Kurt was crying because his mother was dead.

Dave wanted to hug him at that time, but he didn't. He was like statue.

He just could not do it.

He could not afford the feelings he tried to push away for so long. The last thing Dave needed were more troubles.

But he could not stop thinking that Kurt was crying, and those tears were what conviced Dave to try again with the woman he loved and hated the most.

Dave swallowed, searching for the right words.

"I know what it means to you, and I'm sorry." Another clearing of voice. "I'm sure your mother loved you more than anything, Kurt. But her? She was never maternal even in her best moments. "

And it was true. Dave learned to survive without bedtime stories and gentle hands in his hair.

His mother loved her job, her mother loved God. In her family she just saw the shame of years of her youth, when she discovered she was pregnant. Dave rapresented that to her. A guilt that never disappeared.

Kurt smiled to him, and Dave couldn't stop himself from fixing those lips, so full and red.

_He's so beautiful._

He had to stop.


End file.
